A Friday Silly Short on politically incorrect thoughts I can't get out of my head

In no particular order

·       Will a government circular ever read “With mask & distancing, everything’s allowed. The end.”

·       Are most talking heads on CNBC only known for being talking heads on CNBC?

·       Why do capital-market types build disastrous lending businesses?

·       Why does some ‘intellectual’ who’s neither lived here nor held a relevant job for decades profess answers to all our problems?

·       When a unicorn CEO claims “We’re near breakeven”, why doesn’t anyone remind him that the last time he said the same, he blew through $600M over next two years?

·       What does a Chief Economist do all day?

·       Are most op-ed columnists only known for being op-ed columnists?

·       If a hedgie’s long book looks bad, how much worse will his short book be?

·       Does satta market offer odds on which unicorn will be our first Luckin or Wirecard?

·       If a lender’s FY20 book value is fiction, is his FY22 book fantasy?

·       Should everyone giving stock advice be forced to provide an audited statement of their own investing track record, net of all fees, spanning a minimum of 10-years?

·       Why is everyone referring to a pipe business as a platform business?

·       Is estimating a company’s likely guidance the lowest form of equity research?

·       Why aren’t there any rich day-traders, finance professors or chartists?

·       Who pays for all those economic-research-institute sinecures, staffed with unemployable hordes who pop up around each budget? Wait, is it me?

·       Should we have a secret code for analysts to convey what they really think? Penultimate letter of each para spells out “This promoter could rob a blind beggar”.

·       Is a professor writing about investing like me writing on “What to expect in your third trimester? “ (Joke courtesy: Bill Burr)