Since our self-obsessed world comes with its own calendar, I wanted to wish us on the first day of our New Year. Keeping with the mood of April 1, here’s a silly Q&A on how extending work lexicon to life  might look like.

So, when was your son born?

Q2, FY15.  

Hmmm. During monsoon season?

No, earnings season.

How’s kiddo doing? Getting taller?

Flat qoq, but up 7% yoy.

Flat! Not eating well?

No, base effect. All-time-high though.

How’s he doing in school?

Hard to tell, he doesn’t give guidance.

What does teacher think?

Initiated with neutral. Q3 felt like a massive beat. Upgrade may be due.

How’s school in general?

FY21 was a write-off. Marred by exceptional items. Cautiously optimistic on FY22.

Any extra classes?

We keep evaluating, but for now, focus is on organic growth.

Not even coding?

Not into beneficiary of post-covid new-normal thematic.

Kiddo brings home report-card.

Congrats on a good set of numbers.

(Who am I kidding. IB-school report card has no numbers. Reads like a Chris Wood macro piece.)

Madam, can you calibrate this report-card. Entrance-exam or liberal-arts? <involuntary shudder>

Sorry, we don’t give guidance either.