Market’s so bad that …

After a long time, here’s some Friday silliness on state of the markets.

I remember Jay Leno doing this setup-punchline bit after Lehman crisis. He has a common setup (“Economy’s so bad that”) and follows up with dozens of punchlines off that setup. “Economy’s so bad that Obama laid off two teleprompters”. “Economy’s so bad that even the Kardashians are losing their ass”.

Here’s my attempt at a setup-punchline bit, starting with “Market’s so bad that”

·       Starbucks crowd moved to Zunka Bhakar Kendra

·       Dalio announces new book "Prayers"

·       Paytm to release daily business update

·       Cathie's sharing Buffett quotes

·       Chamath's lost one more garment since last selfie

·       Aswath upped his cost of capital assumption by 0.174%

·       J Powell spotted in "Band karo bazaar" t-shirt

·       Zerohedge ends each headline with a smiley

·       CNBC technical analyst spotted wiping tears with bowtie

·       Byjus pivots to organic growth

·       Mumbai Indians team jersey shows patch saying "For ad enquiries, contact ..."

·       Upstox considering name change

·       Perma-bears emerge from concrete bunker for victory laps

·       CNBC announces merger with Aastha TV

·       Private equity folks are making jokes about me

·       Value outperforms

·       Twitter bans ITC holders for getting too smug

And the last one ...

Market's so bad that Nancy Pelosi got margin called.

PS: If you’re in the mood, add your punchlines below